wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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