There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
