We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
