just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My pussy is not your playground.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
