oh god the rape fog is back!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
