even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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