you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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