spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
