I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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