Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
