If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
