so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
