is wine microwaveable?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
