No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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