we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
is it fun? or sober?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
