your room smells of hookers.
And success
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
