At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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