I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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