I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
