So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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