you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
