Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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