I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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