GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
