I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
