508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The power of my boobs compel you
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
