hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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