she woke up with a sticky ear
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
ttyl tear gas
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
