Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize