yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
