You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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