So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Less talking, more tequila
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
