no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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