So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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