Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
