he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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