I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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