i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
