just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
