Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
