So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
