He had one of those small greek statue penises
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
