Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
