I just pynch a tree in the face
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
