I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
