It's Friday. Sex?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
