Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
