well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
