Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's official drugs can't kill me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize