Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
