If i come over, it means nothing
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
