do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
