I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
