did you get engaged???
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
