we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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