The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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