I can't watch pbs sober anymore
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
