I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
