True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
