You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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