Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
