I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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