Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I could make wine with my vomit
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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